Model Citizens

We wish that, like our esteemed colleagues, we were into something elegant or intellectual--gourmet cooking, world travel, art house films. (What's that? You thought Dallas Observer employees spent their time playing video games while smoking illegal substances or imbibing obscene amounts of liquor? Where ever did you get that idea? We'll just say that between their benders, our co-workers can whip up a damn good duck l'orange.) But, alas, we missed the plane to Sophisticationburg and instead hopped the boxcar to Shametown. No matter how much feminist rhetoric we absorb, how many body-image mantras we spout, we simply cannot let go of our glossy fashion magazines.

A therapist might suggest our obsession with models stems from a subconscious longing to be something we're not--skinny with shiny hair and a clear complexion. We think it's just because we like expensive apparel. And the truth is, those living clothes hangers--models--allow us to admire the fashions of great designers without being distracted by things like an actual female form. No breasts, hips, thighs or butts to interrupt the line of a great pair of pants or mar the shape of a beautiful dress. We don't care if models are beautiful, if they have personalities or even heads, so long as they're not diverting our attention from a fabulous Balenciaga coat.

Most people probably don't subscribe to our philosophy of modeling; they think models must be stunning creatures with dour expressions and jutting clavicles. These are the same people who look in the mirror and think they should be strutting down the catwalk. And maybe they should. The National NY/LA Bolt Model Search stops in Dallas this weekend, hoping to lure "hundreds of beautiful hopefuls," both male and female, to Stonebriar Centre to compete in a fashion show. One winner from each city on the tour will fly to New York City for a makeover, photo shoots and runway training. And, of course, a chance to win a modeling contract. Grab your size 0 jeans and your training bra because you might be the next new clothes hanger...er, the next new face! --Michelle Martinez

Model Citizens