Most Popular
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Pentecostal Preacher Sherman Allen Turns Out to Be Reverend Spanky
The Fort Worth preacher is accused of beating, threatening and assaulting women for more than 20 years
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Obama and Me
It was the year 2000, and I was a young, hungry reporter in Chicago with a young, hungry state legislator on my speed dial
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Death in the Inner Circle
Apparent murder-suicide cuts to the heart of the mayor's southern Dallas advisors
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Why is Hillary Neglecting Delegate-Rich Dallas County?
While Obama has events going on throughout the city, Clinton is nowhere to be found
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Obama and Me (65)
It was the year 2000, and I was a young, hungry reporter in Chicago with a young, hungry state legislator on my speed dial
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Melodica Festival Self-Indulgent, But Still Positive for Dallas (51)
If a festival happens in Exposition Park and only the built-in crowd shows, does it make a sound?
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Ole Oops (58)
Popular prosperity preacher sues ABC and Trinity Foundation
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Pentecostal Preacher Sherman Allen Turns Out to Be Reverend Spanky (24)
The Fort Worth preacher is accused of beating, threatening and assaulting women for more than 20 years
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Why is Hillary Neglecting Delegate-Rich Dallas County? (18)
While Obama has events going on throughout the city, Clinton is nowhere to be found
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Thinning Crowds
It's always dead at The Club
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Oscar-Starved
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DVD Releases for the Week of February 19
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DVD Releases for the Week of February 26
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Move Along, Kids
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Leppert's Big Downtown Plans -- And They Don't Include a Reunion Casino
04:48PM 03/13/08 -
Harkin, Is That Picture For Sale?
04:04PM 03/13/08 -
If Only Eliot Spitzer Had Met This Former Dallas-Based "Former Independent Escort" First
03:27PM 03/13/08 -
Overheard: SXSW Thursday Afternoon
08:53PM 03/13/08 -
Motorhead at SXSW
08:52PM 03/13/08 -
In Which We Learn That Vampire Weekend Is Totally Worth Our While
08:45PM 03/13/08
What we are writing about
- $30,000 millionaires
- Avi Adelman
- basketball
- Bob Dylan
- carcinogens
- Carol Reed
- cheap lunch
- Dallas Cowboys
- DART
- Deep Ellum
- Dirk Nowitzki
- douchebags
- DVD releases
- I'm Not There
- illegal immigration
- levees
- Meryl Streep
- Muslims
- Nintendo Wii
- Oak Cliff
- Philip Seymour Hoffman
- railroad tie plant
- referendum
- Somerville
- The Ticket
- Todd Haynes
- toll road
- Tony Romo
- Trinity River project
- Victory Park
Recent Articles By Chris Ward
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Thinning Crowds
It's always dead at The Club
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Hell Yes
Dante's inferno rages on in Devil May Cry 4
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Auto Erotica
Car lovers find a new flame in Burnout Paradise
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Axes to Grind
The Guitar Hero frenzy careens toward overkill
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Almost Famous
It's never been easier to start your own (fake) band.
National Features
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Phoenix New Times
Canine Crusaders
That drug-sniffing dog up ahead? He may not be your best friend.
By Ray Stern -
Broward-Palm Beach New Times
The Muscle Men
Thanks to a string of Florida "anti-aging clinics," baseball's steroid scandal isn't limited to superstars.
By Michael J. Mooney -
Miami New Times
Picked On
Farm workers earn nada in America's green-bean capital.
By Janine Zeitlin -
Village Voice
"Why I'm No Longer a Brain-Dead Liberal"
An election-season essay from one of America's greatest playwrights.
By David Mamet
'Roid Rage Returns
Metroid Prime 3 is the best you can get for the Wii
By Chris Ward
Published: September 20, 2007In space, no one can hear you scream, Jumpin' Jesus, this is one of the greatest games ever! But that doesn't mean you won't try during Metroid Prime 3: Corruption.Hard-core gamers know Metroid's star, bounty-hunter babe Samus Aran, has been kicking ass since 1986 — back when Lara Croft was but a gleam in her Tomb Raidin' daddy's eye. Think of Samus as Alien's Sigourney Weaver with a hella-big arm cannon, making the galaxy safe for cartoonish wussies like Mario and Luigi. Nintendo is certainly guilty of trotting out the same small stable of characters 20 years running (the Legend of Zelda, Mario, Donkey Kong, etc.), but it usually backs up the reruns with ingenious game design for each new incarnation. Metroid Prime 3, though packed with similarities to previous entries, is a masterpiece unto itself. Whether you're a Metroid veteran or a first-timer, Corruption is the richest, most rewarding experience available on the Wii, rivaling even the near-perfect Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess in design and challenge.Metroid always has been the thinking person's action game. The original, with its open-ended level design, was both fantastic and frustrating, requiring players to solve puzzles on a dangerous planet instead of simply running from Point A to Point B and blasting wildly. Corruption continues this tradition while incorporating the Wii's unbelievable controller. One remarkably nerve-shattering mission — more riveting than anything you'll find at the cineplex — sums up the Metroid 3 experience: You're riding atop a flying platform that houses a thermonuclear payload, set to drop on the evil Corruption entity miles below. Space Pirates of the non-Johnny Depp persuasion arrive with guns blazing, and you gotta unload missiles on them to protect the bomb and your hide.Some of the baddies have energy shields, requiring you to thrust your Nunchuk controller at the screen and yank it back, ripping away at their defense. Naturally, when it comes time to drop the bomb and beat cheeks out of there, your escape pod malfunctions. So Samus goes into "morph ball" mode and enters a tiny maintenance hatch (how a hulked-out bounty hunter turns into a kickball-size woman is beyond me, but it's effective). As a voice announces, "Two minutes until impact," you must use your plasma ray to weld a circuit by pointing the Wiimote at the screen and steadily, carefully tracing a line. That's right: It's no longer enough just being a bounty hunter; now you need an ITT Technical Institute degree to boot.At the last second, you'll grab the ignition and thrust your Wiimote with all your strength, pushing the thrusters forward to escape death. If you've Wii'd in your underwear by this point in the mission, you wouldn't be the first.The Metroid galaxy is both enormous and eerily claustrophobic, with narrow, winding passageways and face-sucking nasties at every turn. As always, the missions require a ton of backtracking: Once new weapons and tools become available (say, an x-ray visor and Ice Missile), previously impassable areas suddenly open up. And this means a lot of hopping back into your ship, examining your map, returning to past planets, and more dreaded load times. Prepare to consult an online strategy guide at least once, as you find yourself flying aimlessly around the universe, trying to figure out what you missed. And yet somehow, even this task is more gorgeous and exciting than almost any other game you could play. Looks will get you nowhere with these guys.









