Fur-Bidden

Open letter to my daughter: Iris, I regret to inform you that you're forbidden to attend the All Pet Expo. You've already turned our house into a petting zoo. Your mother and I would have been content with two Great Danes, but at your insistence we've supplemented these monstrous drool-and-stool factories with a pair of cats who apparently won't rest until our entire house smells like ammonia. This would not be so troubling if you weren't constantly capturing tarantulas, toads, lizards and snakes for observation in the terrarium alongside your fish- and crab-stocked aquarium. At this rate, I fear one day you'll make headlines when police confiscate dozens of animals from your feces-strewn trailer home. To prevent this fate, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday you are not allowed to browse the pets, cages and feed for sale at the Richardson Civic Center, 411 W. Arapaho Road, even though admission is just $4 per person and free for kids younger than 6. Also, you may not visit birdsandpets.com.
Sat., Aug. 16, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun., Aug. 17, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., 2008